this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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