If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Randomize
