before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Randomize
