HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
