so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
