hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
