My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
