What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
kristin has been a bad kristin
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
this is an emotional support booty call
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