3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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