their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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