He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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