She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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