Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
