i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
