I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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