here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
