every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
it was like eating out sand paper
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
