Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
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