Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
