I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
We left the knife in your bed.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
