you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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