i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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