Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize