What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
