Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
