Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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