there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize