Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
