Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
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