every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
