i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
