I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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