I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
