And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
