just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
