the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I could fuck to npr.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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