Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize