You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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