That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize