You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
