Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
