I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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