Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
