I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
