you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
this is an emotional support booty call
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
