I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
