i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
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