whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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