If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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