what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Randomize
