smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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