May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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