batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
