If i come over, it means nothing
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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