Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
