Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
