I think my vagina is haunted
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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