watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Randomize
