Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
