And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
My dick has a subreddit
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
